Personal Hacks

Dealing With Confidence Issues/Tips Gaining Confidence

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Hi everyone!

This post is a little personal and definitely more on the ‘should i be posting this or should i of done a top 10 lipsticks post instead‘ kind of side.

It’s a rant an ode to myself and a friendly, helping hand if you are struggling with some confidence issues yourself.

 

Me, Myself And My Confidence Issues

Before I begin this little heartfelt venture, people that know me personally would probably say I don’t struggle with confidence issues. I will sing and dance until I am convinced I can do both like a pro but, really it’s a been a bit of a struggle for a lot of my life.

I didn’t struggle when I was a child, they were probably my most confident years. I wasn’t fazed by anyone or anything but it did all start to change when I moved abroad. I enrolled in a Spanish speaking school and because I obviously wasn’t fluent after the first 10 minutes my confidence just seemed to fizzle out slowly but, surely.

I was bullied (not a sob story at all but, just so you get the general idea) and it gave me zero confidence when it came to speaking up, shouting or even trusting myself when it came to learning new things.

It’s funny because truthfully I am really outgoing, i love doing out there adventures, I am the first to try anything but, when it comes to speaking up and saying how i really feel and being the center of attention, it is a real struggle for me.

Perhaps these aren’t real confidence issues, I don’t know! but, relaxing around people is so hard for me. I constantly am on edge that I might say the wrong thing or that the people i am with don’t like me, it’s a terrible feeling and some days it can be worse than others.

Dealing With Confidence Issues/Tips On Gaining Confidence

 

I don’t think i will ever truly be relaxed around people and afraid to say the wrong thing but, there are some things that i have learnt to do on the bad days that can really help if you do think you are in the same boat as me…

 

 

Some Confidence Building Tips

  • Shout and scream as loud as you can. This is something i struggle with, massively. I know i am extremely self conscious about my voice and this stops me raising my voice. I struggle with this so much but, for fear of what? Somebody looking at me is if i am crazy??? If you are having a day where you feel completely choked up and unable to speak just SCREAM!

 

  • Breathe! I never realized how important breathing was until i was given some advice on how to learn to relax. If you’re feeling particularly nervous about meeting new people or just talking in general, focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath, lasting 5 seconds and hold for 2 and release again for 5, keep doing this until you can feel yourself becoming calmer and thus gaining confidence to speak up.

 

  • Know that we will all die and we do the same things throughout our lifetime. You have one life so sing and dance and scream and shout as much as you like because in the end what does it matter?

 

  • Ever heard the saying ‘fake it until you make it?’ well, i often say that to myself whenever i feel like I cannot do a certain task from lack of confidence. If i act confident then people will think i am. People often prey on shy, quiet people so, faking it is fantastic! This probably is not the best advice but, it works for me when i am in a particularly loud or professional environment!

 

  • Finally, just know you’re unique and nobody in this world is better than you. Not one single person. Don’t let people put you down for being quiet, shy and under confident. It’s horrible some days but, that’s who you are and it doesn’t have to change if you don’t want it to. We are all equals so, next time you think that terribly loud person in the group is being a bit too ‘much’ just know you are on the same level and never have to feel inferior.

 

I hope these tips and bit of advice helped at least someone, if they did please let me know in the comments below!

Lauren.x

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2 Comments

  1. Tanicici

    June 23, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    I too have/am suffering form self confidence issues. It’s not easy to be able to carry on with normal life sometimes when you don’t feel like yourself. I hope that made sense. I have often done the ‘fake it’ esp when I am around friends and people I don’t know. This is a lovely post. Tanicici xx

    • Lauren

      June 23, 2016 at 12:37 pm

      I am so happy you liked it, thank you so much for your comment. (It also makes perfect sense!!) xx

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