Learning To Love Myself
No this isn’t an ode to Justin Bieber, although that would be pretty creative and I could start this post something like ‘As a wise pop star once told me, i should go and love myself and that’s exactly what i’m doing!’.
Sadly, there is no Bieber tribute and this blog post is something quite personal and ‘deep‘, if you will. It’s something I’ve been working on and learning about for just a few weeks now, so i hope whoever is reading this finds a little bit of a helping hand.
The older I get, the more i realize that happiness within yourself is far more important than making other people happy. I know a lot of people probably learn this early on but i somehow forgot to bear that in mind when i was growing up.
I am happy and I love to make other people happy and laugh but, being comfortable and at peace within myself is something i have always, always struggled with.
I find it so hard to be alone, i’m not in desperate need of my boyfriend or my family, i’m not a soppy romantic who can’t leave someones side, no i’m really independent but, i honestly hate being alone. I have told everyone that i hate my own company but honestly, i need to learn not to. Why should i? I have to live me forever, i shouldn’t not like my own company!
We are told that friends and family and money make life so much better and you’ll be happier if you have all of those things but, i really think that’s wrong. Of course these things will make you happy but if you’re not happy inside, you never will be truly happy.
Learning to love myself has been harder than it may seem and with people surrounding you every day who seemingly are at ease with themselves makes it so much harder. I know i’m not alone, i know a lot of people struggle with accepting themselves for who they are so, this post isn’t tips and tricks on how to love yourself, it’s just me pouring out my feelings because i don’t think i ever really have.
I haven’t spoken to any of my friends in months. I will admit i am terrible at keeping in touch but it is a two way street and when i was blaming myself for not sending the first message or text, it’s not entirely my fault. This really got me down, the fact that no one was willing to send me the first message… I really love them all but, it’s the truth.
(Don’t get me wrong i still keep in touch with some of them and these people aren’t included in what i said above. A message every few weeks or every few months if fine by me because everyone is so busy. It’s the people who i thought would keep in touch with me that don’t.)
This made me think, i need to stop relying on other people and what they have to say for my happiness and i need to find it within me.
It’s been hard and it’s been a struggle but i think i’m finally realizing that the key to pure happiness is to be happy within yourself and to be happy when no one else is around. Be content with who is around you the most, it doesn’t matter if it’s your mum or your dog.
Loneliness of course is a horrible thing but, if you can truly be happy and ecstastic in your own company, i personally feel like you don’t need anyone but yourself, if you can just learn how to love you.
There is no way i am there yet, i still have a long way to go. I have however realized that life is way too short to be worried about people and what they are doing, focus on yourself and your own happiness, it’s pretty life changing, trust me!
Thank you so much for reading,
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